The Camping Trip
by Takeshi of Gondor
Summary: The Company (plus Arwen) go on a camping trip and get lost. You know the rest.
1. Day One

AN: My friend (Silent*Shadow) and I were sugar-high when we ( mostly I ) wrote this. So don't kill us if it's dumb.  
Silent*Shadow: 'Cause that would hurt.  
Ya, anyway um...yeah that's all I had to say. Please R&R~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day one) by: Takeshi  
The company (plus Arwen) were sitting on a log around their campfire. Legolas is playing with a stick in the fire. Arwen is setting up her tent with help from the all inteligent Aragorn.   
"Let's you put that thingamabobber into that thingamajigger. And that thingamadoddle, goes over there," he stated reading the directions.  
"What?! Aragorn speak english!!!!"  
"I am. And I don't know how much more english I can be."  
After they FINALLY get Arwen's tent up Aragorn starts putting up the 'guys' tent. But Gandalf got tiered of whatching Aragorn get burried in all the stuff so he used his magical powers and put the tent up perfectly in seconds.  
"How come we couldn't do that with Arwen's tent?" Aragorn asked.  
"Because, I found that more entertaining."  
Suddenly Gimli comes running out of the forest.  
"My hand itches!!! My arm itches!!!!! My butt itches!!! I itch all over!!!!!" he screamed.  
"Oh, poor widdle fing!!!!" Legolas said laughing histarically. Arwen walked over to Gimli and examined his arm, careful not to touch the rash.  
"Um Gimli, you have poison ivy," she told him.  
"Oh," Gimli said, then he waddled off to examine Aragorn's work on the tents.  
  
That night they all piled into their respectful tents. In the boys tent (if you wanna call them boys) they decided to make Aragorn sleep in the way back, because they didn't trust him to sleep in the front, (ya never know what he might do). The order from back to front was: Aragorn, Gandalf, Gimli, Frodo, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Boromir, and finally Legolas.  
Arwen sat in her tent trying to decide where she was going to put her stuff. Finally, she decided to put her pillow on the upper left-hand corner, her sleeping-bag in the lower right-hand corner and all of her other stuff smack dab in the middle.  
Sam sat outside, playing with the fire. Everyone else had gone to bed, even Legolas, which was a big surprise. All of the sudden he sneezed, his snot flew into the fire. It instantly ignited.  
"Cool!" he said, and started blowing his snot into the fire, which in turn began to grow bigger and bigger.  
The light continued to grow in the tent. Legolas groggily opened his eyes.  
"What? Is it morning already?" he asked dazzed.  
"No," Gandalf answered, he had been awake the whole time," Sam's done something with the fire. Go find out what it is and make him stop." Legolas got out of the tent. The fire was rising high above the trees.  
"Fire!!!!" Legolas screamed, he dropped to the ground and started rolling around," Stop! Drop! And Roll!"  
"Legolas!" Sam yelled at him, "That's only if you're on fire."  
"Oh, I knew that. So what did ya do ta make this so big?"  
"I sneezed. And then I tried to find some water, but all I found was this bucket of gasoline. So I poured that on instead."  
"Oh, well hurry up and put it out, we're trying to sleep in there." Legolas lumbered back into the tent, and wiggled into his sleeping bag.  
Sam looked around trying to find something to put the fire out with. Suddenly, he noticed a gaint board. Sam picked it up with some trouble and leaned it against the door of the tent.  
"There, now the light won't bother them."  
All was quiet in the tent. Then there was a (I'm no sure how exactically to descirbe this but I'll do my best) *Snore, squeel, snort, snort, sigh* Aragorn rolled over and looked at Gandalf. Again *Snore, squeel, snort, snort, sigh* He rolled over again and covered his head with his pillow. *Snore, squeel, snort, snort, sigh*  
"Would somebody shut him up?!" yelled Bormir's voice shouted. Aragorn shut Gandalf's mouth, and Gandalf in turn started snoring through his nose.  
"Why don't we close his nose too?" Legolas asked.  
"No, that would be murder," Bormir replied.  
to be continued......  
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Sorry this part was short, but it was a short day. They only got to the campsite at 9:00 and ya can't do much then so they'll do all the fun stuff the rest of the time they're there. Please review. ~ Takeshi 


	2. Day Two

AN: My friend (Silent*Shadow) and I were sugar-high when we ( mostly I ) wrote this. So don't kill us if it's dumb.  
Silent*Shadow: 'Cause that would hurt.  
Ya, anyway um...yeah that's all I had to say. Please R&R~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day two) by: Takeshi  
The next morining Legolas was the first to rise. He sat up and started to exit the tent when *thud* Legolas topled over backwards, bitting the bottom of his lip trying not to scream. Legolas unzipped the tent door and saw the board Sam had put over the door the night before. He knocked it over quiet irrated, and holding his head, he stepped out of teh tent to find some ice to put on his bruise.  
Sam was still sitting outside, eyes blood-shot, and still trying to put out the. He looked at Legolas with crazed eyes. Legolas opened his mouth to say something, but though bettre of it, and left Sam alone, in fear of his life.  
One by one, the each member of the Company woke and came outside to help Legolas make breakfast, each avoiding Sam as much as possible.  
Finally Aragorn came out of the tent, his hair mangled and tangled, and flying everywhere. Everyone stared at him.  
"What?" he asked.  
"Who are you? And what have you done with Aragorn?!" Legolas finally said.  
"I am Aragorn."  
"Oh no you're not!"  
"Yes I am."  
"Prove it!" Aragron walked into Arwen's tent, where Arwen had not yet come out of. They waited, and waited, and waited. After a while Legolas finally asked.  
"What do you supose they're doing in there?" Suddenly Aragorn's voice could be heard in the tent.  
"Yeah baby!" Legolas raised his eyebrows.  
"On second thought, I don't wanna know."   
Several hours later Aragorn and Arwen emerged from the tent.  
"Well, looks like somebody had a good time," Legolas observed looking at Aragorn who was grinning from ear to ear. "Hey, Aragorn, do ya wanna go fishing?" Aragorn nodded his head.  
"Sure, I'll get the gum and the worms, you go find some sticks and string."  
Aragorn and Legolas arrived at the river, accompanyed by Gandalf. Legolas spit the wad of gum into the palm of his hand and stuck on the string that was tied to the stick he had in his other hand, he then out a worm on the gum. Aragorn followed suite, and they cast they're gum lines into the water. They waited for a few minutes, Gandalf sitting and watching. Soon enough Aragorn got impatient.  
"That's it! I can't take it anymore!!!!" he pulled his line out of the water and stood up. "This thing isn't working!" He threw his pole into the river and jumped into the water. "This is alot easier!" Legolas stared at him.  
"Would ya mind getting out of the water?" he asked," You're scaring the fish away." Aragorn growled, and climbed back onto the river bank, and started mumbling to himself. Legolas pulled his line in, and inspected the gum on the end. "Hmm, my worm got stolen. Hey Aragorn where did ya put the worms?.....Aragorn?" Aragorn was standing by teh river bank with the carton of worms.  
"Be free wormies! Be free!" he shouted, and dumped them into the river.  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!" Legolas screamed. "Those are our worms!"  
"Well, they're free now," Aragorn said, sitting back down on the river bank.  
"What am I spose ta fish with?!"  
"Your guess is as good as mine." Legolas growled.  
"I'll just try it with OUT any worms." legolas tossed his gum and string into the river.   
They waited for several more hours, whirel Gandalf told them the story about the party he went to that the Nazgul crashed, but still no fish. Finally they decided to go back to camp.   
As they approached the camp, the group smelt an intresting fragrence in the air.  
"I smell something burning," Legolas said.  
"Same yonder," Aragorn confirmed. They looked at each other.  
"The tent!!" the yelled in unision, and then dashed off to the tent.  
When they got there, they were realived to see that the only thing that was on fire was the wood in the fire pit.  
"Hi," Pippin said as they arrived. "We're making hot dogs. Wanna help?"  
"Sure," Gandalf said, and sat down on a log next to Pippin. Gandalf grabbed the package of hot dogs and tossed them in the fire.  
"No!" Pippin shouted,"That's not how you do it! You put them individually on sticks."  
"Oh," Gandalf said and stuck his hand in the fire to grab the hot dogs. "Ah! My hand is burning!" He screamed, but kept his hand in the flames. Legolas and Aragorn doubled over laughing.  
"Gandalf screams like a girl!" Legolas was able to get out, amongst his laughing. Frodo ran over with a bucket of water and poured it onto the fire, extinguishing the flames.  
"Thank you Frodo," Gandalf said, pulling his hand out of the soggy fire pit, along with the package of hot dogs.  
"Oh, smooth move Froschmoe," Legolas said to Frodo,"Now we ain't got no fire ta cook the hot dogs with." He snatched the package of hot dogs from Gandalf and fumbled to get it open. "Oh, well," he said and started eatting one of the hot dogs raw. Legolas handed one to Aragorn who was standing behind him, then passed the rest of the raw hot dogs around.   
"Mmmm, these are good," Arwen said munching her hot dog.  
"Yeah," Merry added, "they aren't so bad raw.  
They finished eatting their hot dogs and decided to hit the sack. They all went to their respectful tents. Before the guys could all pile into their tent they heard Arwen scream in hers.  
"Ahhhh! Aragorn help me!!!" Aragorn dashed out of the tent stepping on Gandalf in his haste. Arwen ran out of her tent.  
"What is it?" he asked.  
"There's a spider in my tent!" she screamed.  
"Really? Well, I'll go check it out." Aragorn marched into Arwen's tent.  
"Be careful!" Arwen called after him.  
When Aragorn stepped into the tent what he saw, baffeled him. A cute little spider was sitting on the top of Arwen's travel vanity. He looked at it and chuckled.   
"Hi there little guy," he said to it. "You don't wanna hurt anybody do you?" The spider shool it's head. "Okay, then, I'll let you go, but you have to help me with a little something.  
Suddenly, outside the tent Arwen heard things crashing together, and being smashed.  
"Back you monster!" Aragorn's voice shouted.  
Inside the tent Aragorn and the spider wear smashing a few of Arwen's things together.  
"Back you demon!" Aragorn shouted loud enough for Arwen to hear outside. Then he whipsered to the spider, "Now's the best part." The spider looked at him with eight eager eyes.  
"You mean I die now?" it asked. Aragorn nodded his head, and carefully placed a toothpick under one of the spiders many arm pits.  
"Ahhhhhhhh!" The spider's voice rang throughout the tent. Arwen saw the skewered siloutte of a spider in the tent.  
"Yay Aragorn!" she clapped her hands.  
Aragorn bent over and the spider crawled into his pocket. He hten emurged from the tent.  
"You did it!" Arwen said and tried to hug Aragorn, but he dodged it.  
"There," he said,"I have vanquished the beast. Now you may get you beauty rest in peace. Although, I don't know how you could get anymore beautiful." Arwen blushed then wlaked inot her tent.   
Aragorn snuck over to the woods and let the spider go free.  
"There," he said,"Now go free, and be sure not to go into Arwen's tent again." The spider waved good-bye then scurried into the brush.  
Aragorn clambored into the guys' tent and curled into his sleeping bag, very satisfied with himself.  
Arwen sat in the direct middle of her tent, all of her stuff pulled close, adn her blanket cover every part of her except her face, on alert for any more spiders to try and get in.   
to be continued......  
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I really don't have anythign to say except sorry it took me so long to post this. I hope you'll forive me. Please review. ~ Takeshi 


	3. Day Three

AN: My friend (Silent*Shadow) and I were sugar-high when we ( mostly I ) wrote this. So don't kill us if it's dumb.  
Silent*Shadow: 'Cause that would hurt.  
Ya, anyway um...yeah that's all I had to say. Please R&R~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day three) by: Takeshi  
The next morning Aragorn woke first. Still feeling pretty clever about the spider insident. He stood up and tried (honestly he really did try) to carefully walk out of then tent, but he tripped on Gandalf's staff.   
Aragorn went tumbling down the hill, and landing a face plant into Legolas's rib cage.   
Legolas clutched his side and winced, but didn't wake. Aragorn screamed silently, and then stepped out of the tent.  
Aragorn looked around the camp site. By now, three rib-shaped brusies had appeared on his forehead. The fire was out, but fortunately the wood was dry. So he piled some more on, and before long he had a nice toasty fire.  
Suddenly, Aragorn got an idea. He started to dig another fire pit. Once he had finished, Aragorn took the board Sam had used to block the light from the fire and used it to build a big (and I mean big like big enough to fit ten people in, big) box around it. he cut a door. And used that wood too build a wall so there were two rooms, one being much bigger than the other. He used some rocks and mud to build a chimney, and cut ventalation holes in the walls. Then Aragorn walked inside and lit a nice big fire in the new fire pit.   
He sat in his newly built sauna, until he heard voices outside.  
Gimli was outside, feeding the fire, with the diligent help of Legolas, who had fallen asleep on a log.  
"What is that?!" Gimli asked pointing to the sauna.   
"It's a sauna," he replied. "I thought everybody knew that." Gimli shook his head and went back to his work. Aragorn, feeling the rejection walked back into his sauna.  
A few mintues later, Frodo walked in. Aragorn sat on the bench wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist.  
"Get out!" he shouted," You're not wearing the propper attire!" Frodo stepped out and stripped down, and wrapped a white towel from the pile around his waist.  
"So, this is your sauna," he said.  
"Yup," Aragorn answered. Frodo sat down next to him.  
"So, what gave you the idea to build a sauna?" he asked Aragoron.  
"I saw the board, and I said to myself 'Aragron, you're bored, why don't you build a sauna?' And so I did." Aragorn replied. Frodo, getting the hint that Aragorn didn't feel like talking, got up and left. Aragorn put his hands behind his head, and leaned against the wall.  
"Well," he said to himself, "Guess he couldn't take the heat."  
Aragorn spent the rest of the day inside his sauna, doing anything to keep himself entertained, from composing songs to playing jacks, or talking to the wall. Everyone else on the other hand, save Arwen since she was still huddled in her tent, when on with usual life.  
That night Legolas was sitting on the lawn chair, playing with their flashlight.  
"Legolas," Gandalf said," Stop playing around with that, you're shining at in my eyes."  
"Oh," Legolas said appolgetically," sorry." He started waving the flash light into teh stary sky.  
"Stop that!" Merry said.  
"What? What I do?" Legoals said, rather clueless.  
"You elves are so stupid," Pippin said.  
"Tch! Speek for yourself," legolas replied, still waving the flashlight in the sky.  
"You're going to attrack evil space alliens," Pippin continued.  
"And then they'll come and eat our faces off, right?" Legolas interjected, obviously not really caring about a word Pippin was saying.   
Just then, a white streak danced across the sky.  
"See look!" Pippi shouted pointing to it.  
"Well slap me in the face and call me stupid," Legolas said, baffled.  
"As much as I'd like to, I'm going to restrain myself, from commiting such a hideous act," Pippin said. "Besides that doesn't really LOOK like a space ship, it's too small."  
"Cut it out Gandalf," Legolas said, pointing the flashlight in Gandalfs eyes.  
"It's not me!" Gandalf protested, sheilding his eyes.  
"It's gonna crash!!!" Gimli shouted. The 'spceship' crashed onto the roof of Aragorn's sauna, skidding to a stop. A few seconds later Aragorn emurged from the roof hatch, and looked around.  
"Are you guys throwing stuff up here?" he asked.  
"No," Sam said,"A spaceship crashed up there."   
Aragorn looked around he saw the tiny spaceship laying on the roof. Suddenly little spiders came out of it. Aragorn screamed and jumped off the roof, holding tight to his towel.  
"There's little spiders on the roof, and they're saying 'oodlie doo! oodlie doo!" (note: Aragorn says this slower than they really are, so if you want an idea of how they're saying it, say 'oodlie doo' as fast as possible.)  
The group huddle's around with their back to the fire as the spiders crawl down in a huge mass, surounding them. They stop Aragorn's feet, and start worshiping him.  
"Umm, Gandalf.." Aragorn said,"What might I ask are they doing?"  
"Hmm," Gandalf replied," I'm not quite sure. I belive they think you are some sort of God."  
"Well," Legolas said," Make 'em stop. They're freaking me out."  
The largest of the group of spiders looked up at Aragorn with it's eight beady eyes.  
"We come in peace," it said. "You Aragorn, son of Arathorn, saved our leader from the evil Arwen elf. We have come to take you to our planet and make you our king."  
Aragorn floundered," Well, as generous as your offer is, I think I'll have to pass. Ya see, I'm already a king, and if I leave the people will become dumb, 'cause they're dumb. And besides I don't think I'll fit in your ship." The spiders looked discouraged.  
"Ahh come on man," Legolas said, nudging Aragorn with his elbow. "These little guys look up to you, ya can't dissappoint them." Aragorn thought for a moment.   
"I know," he said, " You guys can have a lock of my hair, and worship that." He pulled some of his hair out and handed to the spider. The spiders bowed simaltainously and then walked back to their spaceship, and took off.  
"Well," Frodo said," that was intresting." Everyone else nodded in agreement.  
They all piled into the tent and tried to sleep, but again Gandalf's snoring kept everyone else up.  
"I don't care if it's murder!" Legolas said, attempting to climb over Merry and Pippin, "Im gonna shut that guy up once adn for all!" Boromir pushed him back, and Merry and Pippin held him in his spot.  
"Here," Gimli said,"We can try putting these things on him," he held up a box of 'Breath Easy' nose strips. "They keep me from snoring."  
Legolas growled," Why didn't you say that in the first place?"   
Gimli put a strip on Gandalf's nose and he immediatley stopped snoring.  
"Unfortunately I only have a few of these," he said. "What happens when I run out?"  
"We throw the two of you out of the tent," Aragorn replied.  
to be continued......  
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Ok, ok. You're probably gonna hate me for this but I want you to hear(read, whatever) A commercial I made up that Aragorn says on teh radio to encourage peopel to come visit Gondor. So here it is.  
Aragirn: Hi! I'm Aragorn! And I'm from Gondor. And I just want to tell you all that you all ! And the only things in the world that I care about are me and Arwen! So come visit us in Gondor! You'll have a lovely time!  
Please review. ~ Takeshi 


	4. Day Four (sorry it's short)

AN: My friend (Silent*Shadow) and I were sugar-high when we ( mostly I ) wrote this. So don't kill us if it's dumb. Silent*Shadow: 'Cause that would hurt. Ya, anyway um...yeah that's all I had to say. Please R&R~ Takeshi Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day four) by: Takeshi The next morning everybody was outside feeding the fire and worrying about dinner. (what else?) The fire was dying and, since it had rained the night before they were completley out of dry wood. Legolas was sitting in the lawn chair eatting potato chips humming to himself, not really contributing to the matter. "I'm tellin' ya," Aragorn said," We just gotta have Sam sneeze on it, and that fire'll be blazin' 'til kingdom come!" Just then, Gandalf got an idea. He grabbed a handful of potato chips and tossed them in the fire. They shot up in flames and the fire was healthy again. Gandalf snatched the bag from Legolas. "Pardon me Mr. Greenleaf," he said," But your friends need these potato chips." And Gandlaf started feeding the chips to the fire. Legolas stared at his hands, puzzled. "Ya know, something's missing," he said, " I could've sworn I had a bag of potato chips in my hands a minute ago." "Well," said Aragorn," Maybe you should save some for us younger people." Legolas glared at him. "When six thousand years old you reach," he said, folding his arms," look this good you will not." Bormir whispered to Aragorn. "I've seen better looks on a horse's aa..." Aragorn jabed him in the gut with his elbow. "Well, pally," he said trying very hard to sound serious," I hate ta break it to ya but... I ain't gonna live to six thousand." "My point exactically. Besides, I'm alot smarter than you two." Aragorn smirked. "That's cause you're older, you kahoot! I think Legolas is so old he's loosing his memory." Legolas growled and marched into the tent mumbling to himself. "Well, gee whiz and golly who." to be continued...... ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Sorry this was short but if I add anymore onto this it'll be REALLy long. So that's all the highlights of day four. Please review ~ Takeshi 


	5. Day Five (sorry this one's short too)

AN: My friend (Silent*Shadow) and I were sugar-high when we ( mostly I ) wrote this. So don't kill us if it's dumb.  
Silent*Shadow: 'Cause that would hurt.  
Ya, anyway um...yeah. To answer you question ILY I haven't got anything against Legolas, in fact he's my favorite character. Just for some reason I find it humourous when he gets picked on. Maybe so he gets more attention that he does in the books and people being to enjoy him for the fun loving 2,931 year old he is. Yes he IS 2,931 years old, I made a mistake. I was brought to think that Legolas is 6,000 years old. Sorry 'bout that little mix up. ^_^ Please R&R~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day five) by: Takeshi  
The fellowship (excluding Arwen and Legoals) sat around the fire, staring at in in some sort of trance.  
"I can't believe you ate all of the food." Aragorn said, still staring deep into the fire.  
"I was hungry." Gimli replied.  
"You ate two weeks worth of food for all of us in ten minutes." Frodo said, glaring at Gimli. Just then Legolas walked out of the tent, holding a small carton of chocolate milk.  
"Hey guys," he said. "Look what I found." He showed the rest of the group to milk. "And it's even got a top secret message on the back." He turned the carton around, to read the back. "If your clothes catch on fire..." it read then had a picture of a stop sign, a drop of water, and a basket full of bread rolls. "You could've used this the other night, Sam," Legolas said trying to decifer the message. "...Stop and water the bread?" Aragorn stood up, walked over to Legloas and looked at the milk carton.  
"No no no!" he yelled at Legolas, for being stupid. "It says 'Sign the drop basket!" Legolas rasied an eyebrow.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes I'm sure!"  
"Are you possitive?"  
"Yes I'm possitive!"  
"Only fools are possitve."  
"Are ya sure?"  
"I'm possitive!... No! Got me again!" Pippin grabbed the milk carton and looked at the pictures on the back.  
"It says... Stop, drop, and roll."  
"No it doesn't!" Everyone else argued. Gandalf snatched the milk carton from Pippin's hand.  
"Fool of a Took!" he yelled. "It reads... Stop, and be aware of venomous monters that disquise themselves as bread."  
"Lemme see that!" Boromir yelled, jumping out of his seat, and making a leap at Gandalf. Gandalf moved the milk carton out of Boromirs reach just as he tackled him to the ground. Unfortunately in the skuffle to get the milk, the carton fell into the fire and desintgreated.  
"Now look what you've done!" Sam whined, "Now we'll never know what it said.  
Feeling very dismayed everyone returned to their previous seats and pouted, all glaring at either Gimli, or Gandalf.  
Within a few mintues Legolas got bored, so he decided to go see what Arwen was doing.   
"I'm gonna go see what the she-elf is up to," he said then wandered over to Arwen's tent.  
  
About an hour passed, and Aragorn was starting to wonder what those two were doing, there wasn't a whole lot of noise coming from the tent. So, Aragorn walked over to Arwen's tent, and pulled up the flap. What he saw was not what Aragorn had expected.  
Legolas and Arwen were sitting in the middle of the tent, and Arwen was putting make-up on Legolas.  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas screamed covering his face. Aragorn was so shocked he couldn't speak.  
"Whaaaa..." was the only word he could get out. Arwen grabbed a tishue and started wiping the make-up off.  
"Legolas came in here to see what 'she-elves' do in their spare time," she tried to explain, "and so I decided to show him.  
"Yeah!" Legolas agreed, "I had no say in the what-so-ever." Aragorn blinked, then shook his head and walked out.  
  
The long day became even longer as evning drew and the campers still had nothing to eat. Both Aragorn and Boromir were staring at the four hobbits an dwarf, debating with each other psychically on which one they should cook. Boromir paid no hed to the droll down his chin as he thought about how good Gimli was going to taste. Just as the two of them were about to leap onto the dwarf, Legolas waltzed out of the tent carrying a huge tray full of food. It even had a mug of hot cocoa for everyone.  
"The food has arrived!" Legolas chirped setting the tray on the table, "Fresh from the oven of Legolas." Everyone swarmed around him.  
"Where'd you get all of this?" Sam asked, his mouth watering as he looked at the numerous fruits including green apples, grapes, oranges, and blueberrys.  
"Who cares?!" Pippin shouted grabbing a bowl of diced pineapple and taking a bite, swallowing before he even realized it was in his mouth. Aragorn grabbed a mug of hot cocoa and took a sip.  
"Phhhhhhptttt!" he spit it out, "Uh, Legolas," he said, "I'm not trying to be rude, but the cocoa is a little ...uhem... thick." Aragorn tipped his mug upside down and the cocoa plopped out, remaining in the shape of the mug.  
"Yeah," Frodo agreed,"and the cherries are a bit waxy."   
"Well of course they are," Legolas said, "I made 'em out of Arwens lip gloss!" Everyone stopped eatting, and started spitting and sputering trying to get the gloss out of their mouths. Legolas could see the wheels turning in everyone else's head, probably trying to come up with a way to kill him. He took this as a hint and decided to leave before things got messy.  
to be continued......  
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Ya know? Ta me this part seems kinda short. Let's hipe the next one will be a bit longer. Please review! ~ Takeshi 


	6. Day Six

AN: ^_^ Please R&R~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day six) by: Takeshi  
Frodo and Legolas sat peacefully under the shade of a tree. Legolas had his head leaned back, trying to sleep. Frodo on the other hand was getting rather bored. The others had gone down to the river to see if they could catch anything to eat, and hadn't returned yet. Suddenly, Frodo got a sudden craving for grapes. He turns to Legolas and elbows him.  
"Hey," he said. Leoglas snorts and looks at him, "Got any gwapes?" Legolas shook his head.  
"No." Legolas then turned over and went back to sleep.  
An hour later Frodo again turned to Legolas and elbowed him in the stomach.  
"Got any gwapes?" Frodo asked, his hopes rising. Legolas looks at him and narrows his eyes.  
"No," he replies, rolling over and covering his ears.  
Another hour goes by and and again Frodo wakes Legolas up.  
"Got any gwapes?" he asks. Legolas's right eye twitches.  
"Frodo," he says trying to hold back his rage. "I have been lying here, trying to sleep for the last two hours, and you keep waking me up asking for grapes. I'm telling you now, I DON'T HAVE ANY GRAPES!! And if you ask me again I'm going to staple your feet to the ground!!!!!" Legolas rolls over and goes back to sleep.  
An hour later Frodo pokes Legolas in the back with a stick. Legolas turns to him, his teeth clenched.  
"What do you want?" he manages to say.  
"Got any staples?" Frodo asks. Legolas sighs, glad he didn't ask about grapes.  
"No, I don't." Legolas replies. Frodo smirks.  
"Got any gwapes?" At this point Legolas has completely lost it. He whimpers.  
"That... is... the last...straw!" He stands up and starts running around like a crazy maniac. Then begins smaking his head on the tree trunk.  
"I..." SMACK! "...don't have..." SMACK! "...any..." SMACK! "GRAPES!!!!!!!!!" Frodo shrugs.  
"Well, ya don't have to get upset about it." Legolas one again smacks his head on the tree, then slowly slides to the ground and starts twitching.  
Aragorn came walking back into the camp caring a string of fish, he had witnessed the whole scenario.   
"Frodo," he says, "Stop bugging Legolas before you give him a hernia or an ulcer or something." Aragorn walks over to the twitching Legolas and kicks him, shrugs, drops the fish by the camp fire, and disappears into the tent.   
Several minutes later he reappears, wearing his seahorse swim trunks and a ducky intertube around his waist, flippers, and snorkles. "Get up, and get your snorkle," he says to Legolas completely ignoring Frodo. "We're going swiming."  
"It's not a snorkle," Legolas says, getting up. "Snorkles are like pants. You don't wear pant you wear pants." Aragorn rolls his eyes.  
After the long agonizing walk the three of them finally got to the river, after Frodo had ceaslessly been asking about grapes.  
The others had already begun swimming, save Arwen who sat quietly on the bank and Gimli who is slowly inching his way in. Aragorn waddles over to the river and dips a flippered toe into the water.   
"KOWABUNNGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Gimli does a cannon ball into the icy water, which splashes up and soaks all those who aren't already. Gimli popps out of the water wailing. "It's cooooollllld!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Yeah..." Legolas says, showing no compassion for the dwarf, water dripped of his nose and ears, "I noticed when your fat ass spalshed water all over the place."  
Soon almost everyone was frolicking around in the water, splashing each other and playing tag. Gimli is sitting silently on a rock in the water.  
"Hey Gimli," Merry asks, "Come on and swim with us?"  
"The answer is simple," Gimli replies, "I swim like a rock and dive like a fish." Legolas pops his head out of the water.  
"But fish don't dive, they flop." He says.  
"Exactly my point," Gimli answers.  
  
That night everyone had gone to bed after a long day of swimming. But of course Boromir was having trouble sleeping. He rolls over and looks at Legolas, who appears to be staring at the celling, but he is snoring softly. Boromir's eyes widen and he looks away, trying not to think about it. He hears Legolas roll over, so Boromir returns to his side. What he meets is Legolas's piercing gaze. Boromir closes his eyes, hoping it would disappear, that disturbing look. He opens his eyes. Legolas is still there. Boromir taps Legolas on the shoulder.  
"Legolas,"he whispers. Legolas blinks and looks at him.  
"What?" Legolas whispers back.  
"Could you sleep the other way?"  
"What?...Oh you mean..."  
"The eyes the eyes."  
"Uh... sure no problem." Legolas rolls his eyes, thinking Boromir is completely out of his mind, and snuggles back into his sleeping bag.  
to be continued......  
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Please review! ~ Takeshi 


	7. Day Seven

AN:Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been kinda busy *looks guiltily at pile of notebooks containing rough drafts for future stories* ^_^; Please R&R~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day seven) by: Takeshi  
The next morning the group sat around the campfire eating fish.  
"I've got peanut butter toast!" Pippin smirked taking a big bite of fish.  
"Oh yeah," Legolas said, "I've got sticky buns."  
"Well, I top you both," Aragorn stated, "I've got eggs!"  
"Eggs?" Gimli questioned, "What are these eggs you speak of?"  
"They come out of chickens," Aragorn told him.  
"Oh," Gimli said, "Do you like reach inside and get them or something or do you chop off the chicken's head first, then pull these 'eggs' out?"  
"Chicken's lay eggs," Frodo told Gimli. Boromir shook his head.  
"What would J.R.R Toastabrain think of you guys? His precious characters debating what they are eating, even though they're all eating fish, and one of them doesn't even know where eggs come from." Everyone else turned and stared puzzled at Boromir.  
"Who?" Legolas asked.  
"J.R.R Toastabrain," Boromir replied.  
"Who the heck is he?" Legolas questioned.  
"Don't tell me you don't know who J.R.R Toastabrain is." Boromir said shaking his head.  
"No, can't say that I do."  
"J.R.R Toastabrain is only the guy who wrote our story!" Boromir roared. "You know with the Ring, and me dying, and with Sauron, and the Nazgul, and all that fun stuff!"  
"Isn't Takeshi writing this?" Pippin asked.  
"I think he means J.R.R Tolkien, Legolas, "Aragorn said.  
"What happened to Takeshi?" Pippin continued.  
"No! No! No! No! No!" Boromir argued. "It's Toastabrain!"  
"Did she fall ill?" (Pippin)  
"You're crazy," Aragorn remarked, "J.R.R TOLKIEN wrote Lord of the Rings."  
"I certainly hope she gets better soon." (Pippin) "Well, Silent*Shadow could write it while Takeshi gets better." Silent*Shadow walked onto the scene, with a box full of doughnuts in her hand.  
"What? Did somebody say my name?" she asked.  
"Aliens I tell you! Aliens!" Everyone turned and stared at Legolas, "Okay, shutting up now."  
"It's Tolkien," Aragorn continued, "Where in Middle Earth did you get Toastabrain?"  
"If Silent*Shadow isn't writing, who is?" Pippin was starting to panic.  
"I was about to ask you the same thing!" Boromir yelled at Aragorn.  
"Nobody's writing the story." (Pippin) "But if nobody's writing the story how am I moving? How am I living?" Pippin clutched his throat. "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!!"  
"Would somebody shut that stupid hobbit up?" Aragorn asked. Sam whopped Pippin over the had with the frying pan. Pippin fell to the ground unconscious. "Thank you Sam," Aragorn said.  
"Hey," Arwen interrupted," Why don't we have a contest to see who can be the quietest the longest?" Sam raised an eyebrow,  
"Come now Arwen," he said, "Do you really think we're that stupid. Besides Pippin would win."  
"Okay," Arwen said, "Then why don't you boys have a rock race?"  
"What's that?" Merry asked.  
"Well," Arwen explain," you each pick a rock. Then, you put it on the starting line. When I say go you let your rocks runs to the finish line, and whose ever rock gets there first is the winner."  
"Now that's a game I can get into!" Legolas said. "Let's get started!"   
So the fellowship headed out to find a rock that they would enter in the race.   
After a short while they all had returned.  
"I named my rock Rocky," Pippin told Merry.  
"What you mean like a rock?" Merry asked.  
"No, I mean like in Rocky and Bulwinkle."(spelling?)  
"Who are Rocky and Bulwinkle?" Merry asked.  
"Beats me."   
They all lined up to start the race.   
"Ready..." Arwen said, "Set...Go!!!" The members of the Fellowship began cheering on their rocks.   
"Go! Go! RUN!!!!!"  
"Go Rocky!!!"  
Suddenly Boromir got a brilliant idea (hard to believe isn't it?). He picked up his rock and threw it towards the finish line. Everyone else caught on and began throwing their rocks.  
The rock race had ended and everyone sat around the campfire nursing their bruises.  
"That was some great idea, Arwen," Legolas spat.  
"I'm never going to rock race ever again," Gimli moaned, then fell off his seat unconscious.  
"Who won anyway?" Aragorn asked.  
"I did!" Legolas, Merry, and Pippin all said at the same time.  
"Okay," Boromir said, "Merry won."  
"What?!" Legolas leaped over and tackled Boromir to the ground, the elves hands were wrapped tightly around Boromir's throat.  
"How come Merry won?" Pippin asked.   
"Because," Gandalf replied, "He's the only one of you that's worth trusting."  
"Oh," Pippin said then sat down without further question.  
*Snore, squeak, squeak, sigh* *Snore, squeak, squeak, sigh*   
"Aragorn do something!" Legolas yelled across the tent. "I can't stand it anymore!"  
"What happened to the Breath Easy strips?" Aragorn asked Gimli.  
"I've only got one left," the dwarf replied.  
"Well, why don't you give it to Gandalf. he's going to keep me up all night." Legolas resettled into his sleeping bag.   
Gimli shook his head, "Oh no. My snoring is at least ten times worse than that old coots."  
to be continued......  
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Again I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I couldn't find the motivation to sit down and type, but all I did was read the chapters before this and I was back in business. Who knew? Please review! ~ Takeshi 


	8. Day Eight

AN: Hello! I'm back! I went on a trip to ND last week and so I was able to write this during the drive (most of it anyway, the rest I finished up last night). And I also have some good news. I got some time to work on my next LOTR humor story What the Nazgul Do on Their Day Off. It's about 2/3 done so it should be up by the end of the month. Please R&R ~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE LOTR CHARACTERS!  
  
The Camping Trip (Day Eight) by: Takeshi  
  
The next morning the group sat around the campfire staring blankly into the flames. Legolas had a stick and was pushing burnt logs with it causing sparks and ash to fly everywhere..  
"Can I have an ice cream cone?" he asked.  
"I most certainly hope you can," Gandalf replied, "otherwise I'd be worried."  
Boromir smirked, "It's all a question of whether or not you MAY have one." Legolas stared at them blankly.  
"Can I have an ice cream cone?"  
"Only if you ask me properly," Gandalf replied. Legolas blinked, turned, and looked at Boromir.  
"Can I have an ice cream cone?"  
"Only if you ask me..."  
"Good God!," Aragorn yelled, "just give him the damn ice cream cone!"  
"I would," Boromir said, "but I don't have any."  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!" Legolas screamed. He stood up and threw the flaming stick straight at Boromir's head, a deadly shot. And missed completely.  
"Somebody needs a nap," Sam said.  
"NO NAPPP!"  
"Aragorn nodded in agreement, "Yes, he does."  
"NO NAPPPP!"  
"I don't think he wants a nap," Arwen stated.  
"NO NAAPPPPP!"  
"Legolas do you want a nap?" Pippin asked looking up at the rampaging elf.  
"NO NAAAPPPPPPP!!"  
Merry shrugged, "I guess he doesn't want a nap."  
"NOO NAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!!"  
"Too bad, 'cause he's gonna take one anyway." As soon as Boromir said this both he and Aragorn grabbed the elf by the arms and dragged him toward Arwen's tent.  
"Lemme go!" Legolas kicked his legs. "I'm not going to take a nap! You can't make me!" The two men threw Legolas into Arwen's tent and locked the door. Aragorn looked at Legolas through the plastic window on the door.  
"And you can't come out 'til you take your nap."  
While Legolas sat in the tent and pouted the rest of the group went swimming in the river again.  
After swimming they sat around the campfire and discussed social status and it's effect on career opportunities.  
"Think being a king is the easiest job," Sam said, "You have all the money you want plus you don't have to do much, just order people around."  
"Being king isn't all glamour," Boromir pointed out. "You have to make decisions that mean either life or death for your people. Isn't that right Aragorn?"  
Aragorn, who hadn't really been paying attention to Boromir's dribble, jumped at hearing his name. "Well, in my personal experience as king I have found that there are only two phrases you need to know."  
"What's that then?" Sam asked.  
"'That's a brilliant idea, I'm glad I thought of it,' and 'Guards seize him!'"  
"You can't run a country on just that," Boromir interjected. "You've got to have principles and some form of order."  
"Aragorn shrugged, "Look where principles and order got you."  
"Yeah," Pippin chimed in, "you're dead."  
"Think as you like Boromir," Aragorn continued, "I think I... Why are you all staring at me?" Without blinking Frodo lifted a finger and pointed behind Aragorn.  
There was Legolas, his face pressed against the plastic window of Arwen's tent. The elven prince puffed up his cheeks and blew onto the window making himself look like a fish. o_O went Aragorn (Can't think of a better way to describe it).  
"I think Legolas is done with his nap," Frodo said.  
Did he even take a nap?" Arwen asked.  
"I'm putting my money on 'no,'" Gandalf said.  
Aragorn unzipped the tent and Legolas bolted out.  
"Look out I gotta pee!" Legolas zoomed off into the woods. Moments later he returned, a look of content on his face.  
It was late in the afternoon and Sam sat under a tree munching on a turkey sandwich. Suddenly, a thin slice of ham fell out of the sky and landed on his face.  
"MINNNEEE!" Sam looked up and saw Legolas charging at him. The crazed elf tackled the poor defense-less hobbit and began gnawing on the ham as well as Sam's face.  
Sam sat there dumbfounded. He pulled the ham off his face, Legolas followed still chewing. Sam threw the ham (hey that rhymes) into the woods and Legolas dashed after it. The hobbit watched him sprint into the trees.  
"There's somethin' ya don't see everyday," he said the continued eating his sandwich.  
The sun had set and the Company (and Arwen) were sitting around the fire doing nothing in particular. Legolas had the flashlight again, Aragorn was rubbing Arwen's feet, Arwen was knitting, Boromir was staring at Gimli and, unbeknownst to him, drooling. Gimli was staring at Boromir drooling, Gandalf was trying to get his staff to stay standing up, and the four hobbits were all gathered around applying Just for Hobbits gel to Frodo's feet.  
Gandalf popped at sunflower seed into his mouth.  
"Ten bucks says I can hit the sauna," he said.  
Aragorn looked at him, "Gandalf, I didn't know you were a gambling man."  
Gandalf smirked, "I'm not."  
"Oh," Aragorn said, "Well, in that case, I'll take that bet."  
"I second the motion!" Legolas shouted, everyone looked at him.  
"Legolas," Aragorn said, "you don't second bets."  
Legolas looked confused," I thought we were voting on who we're gonna eat first."  
"My dear elf," Gandalf said, "We have food. There's no need to eat anybody. And besides you wouldn't want to eat me. I'd be tough and stringy and probably spoiled."  
"We don't have any food!" Legolas pointed to Gimli, "That PIG ate it all."  
"But," Merry interrupted, "There was a nice man down at the river who gave us lots and lots of food."  
"When?" Legolas asked,  
While you were taking a nap."  
Legolas's eye twitched, "YOU PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID!!!" The other nine blinked. "Stoo-pid." Legolas pointed to them, "You are stupid," he pointed to himself, "I am smart S-M-R-T... I mean S-M-A-R-T."  
Someone snickered, and as to this day no one knows or can agree on who it was but that doesn't matter because it soon erupted into hysterical laughter. Legolas's face turned red with rage.  
"I'M GOING TO BED!" he bellowed and stomped into the tent but not before he stumbled over the lawn chair and fell on his face, resulting in more laughter.  
to be continued....  
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Well, now for the bad news. I'm going to put this story aside for a little while so I can work on my other fics. I know you guys love this but I keep putting off working on the others to work on this one. At that rate they'll never get done. And this fic is sort of never ending (although I do have a good ending in mind for when I get sick of it, but mind you that won't be any time soon). So this one's gonna be on hold just for a little while, two months tops. I want to get a few of those others done, some of 'em are really close. Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I drew a lovely picture for this chapter check it out @ www.angelfire.com/art2/takeshi Please review ~ Takeshi 


	9. Day Nine

AN:Yes, I know. I said I wasn't going to write anymore until I finished at least one of my other stories but... I lied. Silent*Shadow's about to pee her pants waiting for me to put this chapter up, so I decided to save her the trouble. Please R&R~ Takeshi  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE LOTR CHARACTERS!!!!!   
  
The Camping Trip (Day nine) by: Takeshi  
The next morning was bright and cheerful and everyone in camp could tell Legolas was in a better mood.  
Aragorn was walking out of the sauna when he saw Boromir hunched over one of the logs.  
"Boromir, what are you doing?" he asked. Boromir looked up at him, shear terror in his eyes, and whispered.  
"I'm buttering the toast."  
"Oh," Aragorn looked around the camp, no one else was around. "Why are we whispering?"  
Boromir glared at him for speaking too loudly. "Because if we don't the penguins will eat us all."  
At that moment Aragorn noticed Boromir wasn't buttering any toast, but rather he was buttering his hand. He shook his head, coming to two conclusions for the reason to Boromir's strange behavior. One, he was still asleep and thought that penguins were coming to eat him. Or two, he had gone completely insane and thought penguins were coming to eat him. (I don't know about you but I'm going with the second one)  
  
It was early afternoon and the 'people' sat around the campfire, extremely bored.  
"Hey..." Frodo said, "I have an idea." Everyone rolled their eyes, "We could square dance!"  
"How are we going to square dance with ten people?" Aragorn contradicted. Frodo hadn't though of that.  
"Well, there's only one girl here so that's a problem."  
"I'm not dancing with all of you," Arwen argued.  
"Okay then," Frodo decided he was going to be in charge of this shenanigan, "Sam and I can be partners (if you're getting any more than what was intended, get your head out of the gutter you disgusting person), and Aragorn and Arwen, and Merry and Pippin, and Gandalf and Boromir..."  
"Oh no!" Legolas yelled, "I'm NOT being partners with GIMLI."  
"Fine," Frodo said, "You can be partners with Boromir and Gandalf will be partners with Gimli."  
"I'm not being partners with Boromir either!" Frodo looked curiously at Legolas.  
"Well, you can't be partners with yourself."  
"Yes, I can. Just you watch."  
"Besides if you're not his partner, Boromir won't have a partner either."   
"I don't care, I'll dance with myself and Boromir can dance with himself. So, la tee da on you Mr. Frodo Baggins."  
Just at that moment the author saw that this argument was going no where and decided to add two temporary characters.  
"Who the hell are you?!" Legolas asked Cody. Silent*Shadow on the other hand was walking around Legolas checking him out.  
"Legolas!" she yelled and gave him a huge hug. Legolas blushed, then realized the advantage of the situation.   
"Silent*Shadow can be my dancing partner, and um... you go with him." Legolas pointed Cody in Boromir's direction. "You both have the same intelligence level so... yeah." Boromir and Cody just stood there, not quite getting what Legolas had said.  
Frodo turned on the record player and soon they all were dancing, following the instructions the music gave them.  
"Now promenade (sp?) once around!" it sang.  
Legolas, Silent*Shadow, Boromir, and Cody were having trouble keeping up with the music and not after long found themselves dancing in double time.  
"Promenade! Promenade!" Legolas screamed as he and Silent*Shadow ran about in a circle. Finding his efforts in making Silent*Shadow run faster futile, Legolas picked her up and continued running around.   
Being back in their place, Cody and Boromir came to a sudden halt. Unfortunately Legolas didn't see them and he and Silent*Shadow crashed into the two idiots (no offense to Boromir, but we all know it's true).  
Finding that square dancing was a little too hazardous to everyone's health, Frodo turned off the record player. Seizing the opportunity, Pippin grabbed the record and chucked it into the woods, in hopes of never hearing/seeing it again. And, just as suddenly as they had appeared, Cody and Silent*Shadow disappeared without a trace.  
  
It was late at night, and the fellowship (excluding Arwen) had been drinking and well um... maybe you should just see for yourself.  
"Sssssssssssoo lemme get this straight," Aragorn said tapping his finger stupidly on the table. "If today is tomorrow, then yesterday is today. And if yesterday is today, then today is tomorrow."  
"Exactly," Legolas said.  
"That doesn't answer my question on when Star Wars Episode II comes out in theaters," Boromir stated.  
"Tomarrow you moron!" Aragorn yelled.  
"So... you mean today?"  
"No I mean tomorrow."  
"But today IS tomorrow."  
"NO, today is today."  
  
Hearing a lot of commotion outside, Arwen stepped out of her tent to see what was going on.  
Upon exiting the tent Pippin ran up to her.  
"Happy corn dog day!" he smiled and handed her a piece of broccoli. Arwen took the broccoli without question and Pippin ran off to join the other Hobbits.   
The four all put pairs of shorts on their heads and began running around the campfire shouting, "We're shorts!"  
Arwen walked over to her husband, who now had his head on the table and was looking between his legs, but talking to Boromir.  
"Oh yeah?! Well, yer moder wasa hamster..." Arwen rolled her eyes.  
"Aragorn," she said, "I think you've had enough for one night."  
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am," Aragorn replied.  
"I'm cutting you off," and Arwen took his bottle of beer.  
"Buh, ah've oany 'ad one."  
"Funny how I don't believe you."  
"Stay away from my wife!" Aragorn took a swing at Arwen, but missed completely. Arwen shook her head, and dragged him back to the guys tent.  
At about the same time Gandalf decided that he had had enough for the night and was off to bed.   
But, there was one problem, "Fool of a Took! What the devil are you doing? Get off my leg!"  
"I'm a paperweight!"  
to be continued......  
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Sorry Boromir fans for that bashing I gave him. I love him too. But let's all face it, he's not the brightest member of the Fellowship. That's why we love him right? Am I right...? Anyway... Um yeah, I think that's all I had to say. Oh yeah! swimteam is finally over so I'll have more time to update. And I think I added more art for this fic to my website since I last updated, but I'm not sure. Just go back to one of the previous chapters to get the address or it's with my bio too, and you can get there just by clicking on my name. Please review! ~ Takeshi 


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